I Have Become My Parents

*Even though this entry is more in-line with my postings on The Balance Factor blog, I felt it needed to be posted here :o)

As I was walking home from work today I said to myself, "I have become my parents." Honestly now, how many of you reading this post have said the same thing? Yes, it is true--I have become my parents... but in my case this is a VERY GOOD thing, and let me tell you why.

My parents, Tom & Yvonne:

• live their lives in honesty, trust and integrity
• have a genuine interest in other people and their needs
• take care of themselves so they are strong enough to help others
• have become the bringers of light into so many people's lives
• love me, support me, inspire me and encourage me to be my best
• are a testament to everyone they meet
• are two amazing people

And now I strive to be all those things as well.

So how do I know these things? Because my parents are two of my best friends. When I tell people that most common response I get is, "What?! Your parents are your friends?!" And I just grin and reply, "Yup!" However, a friendship with your parents doesn't just happen, you have to intend it. If you have heard me speak about the power of intention you will know that I firmly believe that your intentions drive your attitudes, actions and words.

Developing a friendship with your parents--or any family member, for that reason--requires you to first decide that will love and accept them as they are right now. This is the first and most critical step in this, or any, relationship. Once you can love and accept someone as they are right now (including yourself!) you are on the road to a healthy relationship. "How?", you ask. Because you have just practiced acceptance. Acceptance means you don't have the need to control the behavior of another person--their actions and behaviors are theirs and you simply respond to them according to your own boundaries. By accepting others you give them the freedom to be themselves, and all healthy relationships are based in freedom!

Another aspect of building this relationship is that the decision had to be mutual--my parents needed to work at our friendship as much as I did. Because they are still my parents this relationship requires a large amount of patience and flexibility, and it means that we don't always agree. But think of it this way--do you always agree with your closest friends? This relationship, like any other, is based in respect. We can agree to disagree; we can keep our differences; we don't feel the need to pressure or persuade one another; we truly accept one another and seek only to build each other up. This mutual "fan club" makes for such a positive and consistent support network. My parents are my biggest cheerleaders! And who better to have in my corner than the people who know me best.

I feel that the biggest benefit of this relationship is that even though they are my friends, Tom & Yvonne still get to be my parents. This comes in really handy! When I ask for advice, they are eager to give it; when I'm having a bad day and just need a little lift, they are always there to pick me up; when I go home to visit, my Mom still loves to cook my favorite foods for me. Once a parent, always a parent!

So now you realize how "becoming my parents" is, indeed, a blessing. I am so grateful for my Mom & Dad and the friendship I have with them. And even though you may not be best friends with your parents or even have a close friendship with your parents or siblings, realize that the people closest to you are the people who are the most important; and aren't people the most important part of life? I have to believe so.

Happy New Year!